You love parties like I love a good PAP smear.
Your wood shop mysteriously calls when black tie beckons.
But that is not our life.
We must show up and show off,
Being witty and engaging with other witty, engaging people.
It is the world we chose,
The life we lead.
Tonight is formal.
I have on my sexiest, red gown,
Demure in the front,
A plunge in the back,
Acres of flesh on display.
And let us not forget the risque slit up the right thigh.
Six-inch black leather pumps and bare legs.
The double-trouble combo.
I will be ogled tonight!
I already feel a little frisky,
Playing with you before we get into the car,
I am a little too touchy for your taste.
You try to cool me down.
“Are you going to be like this all night?”
I lick your ear.
“You are going to be like this all night, aren’t you?”
I kiss the tip of your nose.
I can’t keep my hands to myself as we travel.
I can see your adorable manhood pulsing.
I cannot ignore it.
My kitty is famished.
The console is not big enough to block my grope.
“C’mon, babe… Not now…” you whine.
“Ohhh… You’re no fun…” I pout.
I know how to break your resolve.
All our friends know.
Your wife is a notorious flirt.
We arrive and the valet gets the first taste,
A long, lingering look at my legs as I exit the car.
I add a polite little kiss to the cheek.
Sonny must be into women of a certain age!
We enter the room and my mouth waters.
Fresh meat everywhere I turn!
Tonight, I am not a woman.
I am a jungle cat.
I smell the scent of animals in heat.
They are nothing but bait.
I do not want anyone’s attention but yours.
I set my trap.
The flirt begins her prowl.
I stand just so, the runner’s leg exposed through the slit.
I hug each man a little too firmly,
My breasts pressing into his chest.
Pete’s arm gets a seductive brush.
Ward’s cheek gets a pleasant peck.
Oh dear! A lipstick smudge!
His wife sneers at me.
I bump up against Albert’s side.
His elbow needed a hook!
I watch your eyes,
Flaming with jealousy.
Smiling, I blow you a kiss.
You know what I am doing.
You endure, you ignore, you fume.
I become more and more flirtatious,
Touching, kissing, hugging, men and women alike until…
But you are such a gentleman.
No scenes to be made.
You take me by the elbow.
“Excuse us for a moment, will you?”
You lead me out of the hall and to a secluded spot by the elevators.
You spin me forcefully and stare into my eyes.
“What the hell are you trying to do in there?”
I grab you by the arms, throw you against the wall, and pounce.
Pawing at your chest,
I confirm your suspicions.
“Well whatever I was trying to do, it worked!
“Do I have your attention now?”
“Good! Then DO something about it!”
I kiss you lightly.
We wouldn’t want to mess up the makeup…
You scowl, squint, and grab my arm!
You angrily toss me toward the elevator!
I stumble, falling backward against the doors.
You pound the “up” button,
Glaring into my eyes.
We wait in silence.
You scowl some more.
It is all an act!
The door opens.
You throw my rag-doll body inside.
As the doors close, it is your turn to pounce.
Good thing I reserved a room.